OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
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