I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
Randomize