My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
You pole danced in your parka.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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