My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
