Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I can't turn off my feet"
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Randomize
