Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
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