it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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