Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
