im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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