Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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