i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
