In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
