You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Randomize
