Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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