im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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