Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Randomize
