You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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