What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
