Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize
