Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
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