Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Randomize
