We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
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