Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
