Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
It's blow job season.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
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