He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
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that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
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Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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