This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Im just a social blackout drinker.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
