So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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