Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
You can't just leave with hair like that
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
