i just made my gag reflex go away.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
