Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
