Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Randomize
