she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
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