Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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