Where is the hickey?
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize