I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Randomize
