turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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