in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
