I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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