We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
