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• (702): View more from Nevada

  can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt

  (702): View more from Nevada

  maybe shoes and water too

  (702): View more from Nevada

  oh and maybe a noose to hang myself

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• (301): View more from Maryland

  all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.

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• (619): View more from California

  Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.

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• (317): View more from Indiana

  You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice

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• 

  23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce

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• (925): View more from California

  you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left

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• (402): View more from Nebraska

  Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.

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• (302): View more from Delaware

  All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?

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• (04): View more from

  This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.

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• (706): View more from Georgia

  I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit

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  The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral

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• (520): View more from Arizona

  my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl

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• (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.

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• (512): View more from Texas

  I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.

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• (317): View more from Indiana

  Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.

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• (907): View more from Alaska

  First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)

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• (310): View more from California

  Seriously where are the good guys?

  (559): View more from California

  The friend zone.

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