I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
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You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
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The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted