Texts From Last Night

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  (847): View more from Illinois

  Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".

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  (847): Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy". http://tfl.nu/atvg
  Replies (19) Good night (1035) Bad night (2272)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors

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  (610): aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors http://tfl.nu/o36o
  Replies (15) Good night (5145) Bad night (1701)
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  (604): View more from British Columbia

  dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"

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  (604): dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too" http://tfl.nu/x15y
  Replies (5) Good night (4099) Bad night (954)
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.

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  (757): He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds. http://tfl.nu/ihy8
  Replies (41) Good night (2924) Bad night (4728)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.

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  (519): I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front. http://tfl.nu/mrrz
  Replies (12) Good night (4569) Bad night (1552)
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  (517): View more from Michigan

  These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy

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  (517): These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy http://tfl.nu/omc1
  Replies (11) Good night (3310) Bad night (1026)
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  (530): View more from California

  I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.

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  (530): I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time. http://tfl.nu/t4yt
  Replies (16) Good night (2374) Bad night (935)
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  (574): View more from Indiana

  First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.

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  (574): First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated. http://tfl.nu/ljxt
  Replies (6) Good night (1667) Bad night (612)
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  (406): View more from Montana

  You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.

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  (406): You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic. http://tfl.nu/4fes
  Replies (2) Good night (838) Bad night (612)
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  (801): View more from Utah

  After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road

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  (801): After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road http://tfl.nu/nkf2
  Replies (10) Good night (608) Bad night (1142)
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  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.

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  (920): I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background. http://tfl.nu/kwpk
  Replies (6) Good night (1078) Bad night (396)
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  (002): View more from

  There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink

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  (002): There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink http://tfl.nu/tsjq
  Replies (8) Good night (1734) Bad night (391)
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.

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  (480): I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy. http://tfl.nu/w6tg
  Replies (3) Good night (334) Bad night (471)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky

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  (201): No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky http://tfl.nu/xyer
  Replies (1) Good night (448) Bad night (333)
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86

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  (775): note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86 http://tfl.nu/7n4b
  Replies (0) Good night (248) Bad night (331)

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