I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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