No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
