there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Randomize