You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
