i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I think I won the penis lottery.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
