Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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