Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
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she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
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I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
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