get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
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