Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
