we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
you are never too drunk for berry picking
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
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