The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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