At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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