my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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