she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
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