if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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