it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
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